My wife and I tend to immerse ourselves in the kink community during the summer months. There is a convention in New Jersey that happens every July. It’s a safe space for us to experiment and let loose with our fantasies. While we’re anticipating the event, one of the things that keeps coming up in conversation with our friends is the consent.
I get that consent is becoming a buzz word. More than one jerk has rolled their eyes at me when I bring the topic up. That eye roll means that they aren’t going to get the opportunity to come anywhere near my wife or I btw AND that they are probably going to get kicked the fuck out of whatever kink event they are attending for being unsafe…so don’t be that person.
My wife and I were having a conversation about safe words with a few friends last weekend. In case you aren’t privy, a safe word is a word or phrase that stops any activity immediately. Let’s say I have my wife tied up to the bed and I’m putting clothes pins all over her thighs. Suddenly, she gets a hip cramp. She would yell out her safe word and I would halt all activity and ask her if she needs to be untied. Getting the clothespins off can wait, getting her into a safe place where she regains control over her arms is what is most important unless she says otherwise.
My wife wanted to keep things simple when we started getting into kink, so her safe word is, “Red,” as in stop. She will also say, “Yellow,” if something is getting a bit too intense for her, but she can still handle it.
I decided a very long time ago that my safe word would be, “Calliope.” Why you ask? Because I have always liked the way it makes my mouth feel when I say it and, let’s be honest, it doesn’t come up that much in conversation.
Do you have safe words that you use with your partners? How do you feel about being able to stop a scene on a dime and re-evaluate how everyone participating is feeling? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on twitter.
In the meantime, here’s a super intense clip from Bound Gangbangs that will have you wondering when and if she’s going to beg the guys to stop.