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Next Time, Maybe Just Get A Room

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the award-winning porn site for women & couples. With over 18 years’ experience under her belt, writing about and for the adult entertainment industry, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

We’ve all been there – aroused, hanging out with our lover(s), but without a convenient place to get down to sexy time.

Maybe you were a young adult still living with your parents at the time, or maybe you were staying with family over the holidays, but in any event I’m sure you can relate on some level to people who find themselves in a situation whey they’re required to get creative to carve out some personal space in which to have sex.

Still, no matter how hot bothered I might become, there are some locations which are simply off-limits. One of those locations – for me, at least – would be an abandoned mine shaft.

A Would-Be Hero’s Tale Needs Some Polishing

When the story first broke, one of four people who got lost in the Rock House Powellton Mine in West Virginia initially told authorities he had gone into the abandoned mine to look for three of his friends who were trapped inside the place.

The cops had reason to be skeptical of Eddie Williams’ story, however: Earlier this year, he was charged with crimes connected to entering – you guessed it! – an abandoned copper mine to steal copper.

While stealing copper from an abandoned mine is not exactly the crime of the century, as I see things the main reason not to do so has little to do with the charges you’ll face if you get caught, and a lot to do with the risks involved – like getting trapped inside the damn mine, for example.

Eddie didn’t stick to his “I was bravely looking for my lost friends” story very long. He soon told investigators he had indeed entered the mine with those same friends and a plan to find and steal copper.

By this point in Williams’ tale, I’m picturing Bubbles and Johnny from The Wire, pulling off the Great Copper House Caper, except less ‘Baltimore Junkie’ and more ‘West Virginia Meth-Head.’

In any event, Eddie’s tale is about to get a bit more complicated – and a lot dumber.

The Plot (and a Couple Key Appendages) Thickens

“In a later interview with deputies, Williams told deputies they were not looking to steal copper, but instead, he said the four went into the pair and split up into pairs to have sex,” reports WCHS-TV.

Eddie’s story about splitting up to have sex was corroborated by his three friends, Kayla Williams (age 25), Cody Beverly (21) and Erica Treadway (31), who were rescued a few days after Eddie (43) emerged on his own.

The news coverage doesn’t specify if Kayla is any relation to Eddie, just in case, let’s all hope the couples split up as Cody/Kayla and Eddie/Erica.

Cody, who hasn’t been charged with a crime (yet, at least), told reporters that up to the point when they got lost and he began to fear rescuers would “never even find our bodies,” it was all good times down yonder in the abandoned copper mine.

“You’re taking two girls, you know, in a mine,” Cody said. “You really think you’re going in there looking for copper, you know what I mean, but we was just exploring. We thought it was fun.”

Let this be a lesson kids: Breaking into abandoned copper mines is all fun and games, until you split up to have sex, get lost and hopelessly wait to die of starvation – unless Cody eats you first, that is.

A Surprise Ending – Or Perhaps a Very Predictable One?

There’s one last twist to Eddie’s yarn: He’s now missing again, wanted by police on charges of “breaking and entering, conspiracy and lying to law enforcement.” The Raleigh County Sheriff’s Department has asked that anyone with information on Eddie’s whereabouts give them a call.

Maybe I should give them a ring. I mean, while I can’t honestly claim to have any “information” on Eddie’s whereabouts, I do have a hunch.

Calico Rudasil is a Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen) columnist and Sssh will be on Peeperz for fun times again in the near future, meanwhile why not check us out:


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