I’m intrigued by shows about prison life. Part of me is ultra concerned about the fact that the prison system in the United States is hella fucked up, but part of me is also entertained by the characters that these shows introduce us to. We were watching that show Jailbirds on Netflix the other day and one of the most intriguing storylines is about how prisoners date using toilets.
The system is pretty ingenious, but it’s also fucked up. There are a few things that you can do with a toilet in the Sacramento County Jail, other than the obvious at home uses. You can chit chat with people by emptying the water out of the bowl and making a megaphone type contraption out of cups. The prisoners end up forming relationship this way, mostly out of necessity and boredom.
I mean, I know some crazy stories about how relationships started, but up to this point, none of them involved a toilet.
I really don’t know how I feel about this, Peepz.
I mean, invention is the mother of necessity, right? So it’s not an insane idea that at some point in time, someone was locked up and started screaming into their toilet bowl. The neighbor downstairs heard all the ruckus and was like, “Hey! What the fuck is the problem, asshole?” and then once they realized that they could communicate, word got spread.
Even more interesting is the fact that people realized that they could send gifts through the toilet!
That’s what I said.
Prision. Toilet. Presents.
They call it, “Fishing,” of course.
Both toilet owners have to create a super long string with fabric, like pillow cases. Towards the end of the line you tie up a bunch of spoons. Once you verify that the receiver of your message is ready to go, both parties flush their toilets at the same time. The strings and spoons end up getting all wound up in each other and then the receiving party can pull the line through the pipes.
Like I said, it’s completely fascinating, but I am pretty sure that I would not find anything endearing about a present that I got out of a toilet. I get that they are thirsting for romance and any kind of human interaction possible, but toilet gifts are pretty raunchy IMHO.
Here’s a Brazzers clip set in jail whose title includes lots of my favorite words: